It all started innocently enough yesterday when I tried to use a new mobile phone app to pay for parking in Edinburgh. I tapped in the location code only to be told my bank had declined the transaction. The third time a transaction has been declined in three days. On those other occasions I was sitting at home with a computer and could see a dedicated bank number to call and clear things up. I did that fairly easily and was told that a popular thing to do when someone steals a credit/debit card is to buy a flat screen TV online from Curry's. And that – with my own card – was the transaction I'd been attempting. OK – I understand. But standing on the street yesterday it was a different matter. I looked on the back of the "offending" card and called the number imprinted there. Hanging on for ten minutes I discovered it's now the wrong number and tried the new number given hanging on for another five-ten minutes to finally get a human. I then managed to fail security – not on my business card but on my related Lloyds TSB personal account (how biz owners who don't have personal accounts get through "security" in an emergency I've no idea). Sadly since I couldn't recollect the precise sum of my last supermarket bill, couldn't name my overdraft limit (happily its many years since I've been overdrawn) couldn't say who last paid money into my account or who was the recipient of a £68 direct debit, I was stuffed.